One look at the young successful athletes, actors, CEOs and media personalities who splash our social media pages and all you can think is, they have their shit together. It seems their life was predestined and predefined. Someone must have snuck a lifemap into their palms at birth that wasn’t given to the rest of us. I mean, it’s one success story to another; one achievement to another.
Society recognizes status, beauty, power, money and when you don’t have these- at least a combination of two, it seems your life sucks. Even money buys love.
It is expected that a certain age or time in your life you are supposed to have certain things. You fret when you don’t have them. At 30, a female’s chances of finding love is significantly lower and narrower, or so society thinks, plus it doesn’t help that the biological clock is ticking loudly.
Coincidentally, at a time when it seems you don’t have everything going for you that’s when all around you people are happy. They have the particular thing(s) that you don’t have.
I don’t have my shit together
I will be 24 by Dec and I don’t have my shit together. Harry Styles is my age mate and he already has a successful career. I am older than Kendall Jenner, but she is already a super model and has established herself in her career. Not me.
I am in school and I am broke most of the time (I am graduating this year though). I don’t have the money to do all the things I want and to travel to all the places I want to go. Most of my friends are graduates already while some are married with kids. I don’t even have a boyfriend; never even dated anyone long enough.
I was told my strong willed personality and no-nonsense attitude has it made it nearly impossible for me to grasp love. Apparently I am supposed to laugh at everything a guy says to impress him and make myself look datable.
I once worked in a boring accounts office. It was torture. The job was neither exciting nor interesting and my boss took every little opportunity to pop in and give me more ledgers while staring at my boobs. I left after three months and decided to take the more the interesting route of entrepreneurship.
I am not the kind of entrepreneur you are thinking. I have not made millions instead I have debtors. But I like what am doing. I buy shoes, customize them and resell them. I am scared too, I do not want to bow to the pressures of a safe job and be miserable. I do not know what the future holds. I still succumb to procrastination, laziness and intimidation.
Who has their shit together?
People look up to my mum. She’s bold, she’s in charge, and she knows where she’s going and what she has to do. She’s confidant too. But they didn’t know her before now.
It took my mum 38years to be who she is now. She was a people pleaser, laid-back, quiet and with very little confidence. She rarely made decisions on her own. Her life revolved round my dad (he was who she is now) and us- her kids.
My mum lost her dad in Oct, 2008 and then my father followed in Jan 2009. Suddenly a widow, with no male figure in her life and no work experience, my mum became both a father and a mother.
My mother is the strongest person I know, not allowing personal calamities to break her. Instead, she became tougher and stronger. She took charge of her life and got a job (even when she was scared she couldn’t do it). She is the last daughter but she holds everyone in her family together.
To others it looks like she has her shit together but she doesn’t. She carries a pain no one understands but she has learnt to live vicariously. She has taken charge of her life and no longer allow people talk down at her.
Maybe you know someone who has their shit together. Can you walk in their shoes?
You can get your shit together?
Yes you can. You can learn to live your life your way. Take charge of your life. Our lives and paths are different. Stop the comparison and the constant need to get things that you don’t need just to match up. Live by your values and be happy. Do the things that make you happy.